To Wield the Darkest Night Author Beau Van Dalen
Book Review
4.5 out of 5 stars!
Releasing October 31, 2024!
". . .the man from Sol's slumber appears."
We all have those late-night fantasies or dreams with strangers in them. But what if you kept having a reoccurring one where the person got clearer and clearer? Till one day they are literally knocking on your very door!
Sol is about to go on an adventure with the man of his literal dreams! The King has fallen ill and has requested Sol's apothecary abilities personally. Only Sol is hiding a major secret. . . Sol is "supposed" to be a woman and live a woman's life. Keeping his secret of being a trans man will become difficult the closer he gets to Yohan and the more his feelings grow for the knight. He just needs to keep his distance from Yohan and focus on his assigned quest! Easy, right. . .?!
". . .Sol is pulled into Yohan's orbit like stars follow the moon." - Sol
What draws me into Beau's books the most is how the characters are written. How you can relate to the trans MC's, and you don't have to be trans yourself. Finding your place in the world and who you are is different for everyone. Many of us have lives we are supposed to "fit" into, but fitting in is more of a burden then we realize. Being able to be around people and choose people who will build you up and support you is freeing. Maybe even help to heal you without them even fully understanding what they did.
Sol was born with a female body and a feminine name, but he's known since forever that that's not who he really is. Living within a small village makes it hard to come out of the closet. Being trans isn't "correct", he should let those feelings and dreams go. Only he cannot do such a thing and has resigned himself to a life without a partner. Until one day a knock sounds on the shop Sol works at and he opens it.
Yohan's a cursed knight but is the biggest, sunshiny, cinnamon roll ever! Making Sol laugh about the oddity of how the darkness that surrounds Yohan doesn't match the man's personality. Sol can't help but get closer to Yohan since they will be traveling alone together. He's also been having some very intense dreams about Yohan for a while now. . . But will the knight laugh at Sol or worse if he allows Yohan in on his secret and how the dreams really played out?
"Weren't you just surviving?" - Yohan
The above line broke me! I have never wanted to throw a book before until now, in a good way. Just the intensity of different emotions I felt through Sol and how they resonated with me. People with trauma especially know what surviving looks and feels like. Having an outside party validate and acknowledge that you've been surviving is very intense. The scene that followed the line was big and the releasing of emotions was powerful. Be ready to feel a whole spectrum of emotions with this read!
Read through the CWs! One of the overarching plotlines is Sol has some heavy past trauma. Trauma doesn't just go away, even when you are healing from it and moving on. It almost rewrites your DNA and there will always be moments. Trying to fight the last battle, even if you're currently in a healthy situation with no cruel, ulterior motives. Seeing the relationship between Yohan and Sol was incredible and watching how things grew between them. There's language in the book along with blood and deaths. Sol has panic attacks, PTSD, trust issues, and major body dysmorphia moments. Single POV in third person with Sol.
"Am I not allowed to see the man in you, Sol?" - Yohan
Forget book boyfriend, Yohan's book husband material! I love the intimacy and romance found within Beau's books and the level of safety the love interests build. Mutual attraction and interest galore but a bit of a slow burn between the two MCs. There's this one scene I don't want to give away that just really solidifies Yohan as a book husband! Just Yohan is very open and encourages Sol to do something that Sol thought would never happen for him! There's mention of B.C. because Sol has female anatomy. I loved the dirty talk between the two and the words of praise!
I really loved the fact that Sol wanted an adventure but didn't fully comprehend how psychically taxing adventuring was! Having down to earth moments of "yeah, I'd be in the same boat as Sol." For me, my personal and honest opinion, there were a few parts that dragged a little and toward the ending. I just wanted to get to the HEA and see how everything worked out for Sol and Yohan! I still thoroughly loved this read and cannot wait for more from Beau! Plus, I need to go back and read all of his older works and finish Prince Hal's story!
Enjoy the read with a grumpy apothecary and his sunshine knight. Don't forget to give the author some stars!
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